My Dildo experience, …

July 31, 2019

… a phrase I would never have thought I would write in my little blog…

Wednesday morning I left Sunnyside and drove south on the Trans Canada Highway.  When I got to the exit for Blaketown (they don’t even have the guts to put Dildo on the big sign) I got off the highway and proceeded north on Route 80, backtracking to the village of Dildo. Yes, there were directional signs once you were off the TCH but I drove right past the exit as I noticed the smaller signs up at the top of the exit ramp and had to turn around.  In many rural spots the TCH is just a 2-lane road.

Before I got there I actually drove through fashionable South Dildo (in case you want to live here and not have to associate with Dildo white trash).

Well damn, I could have stayed here!

I continued on up the road to Dildo proper.

Below, looking west from Route 80 towards Dildo Island in Spread Eagle Bay (insert, pun intended, your own joke here).   JohnBoy – Stop It!

And finally, I made it…

Now I can honestly say  Been There  (but NOT gonna say  Done That!).

It was foggy in places on the way down the TCH that morning and I was prepared to say that Dildo was moist when I arrived  (JohnBoy – STOP IT!) but the fog had burned off by the time I got here.

That sound you hear is my mother spinning in her grave.  Believe me, she would be embarrassed and sooooooo ashamed of me.  I can still taste the Ivory soap when she washed out my mouth with it if I said a bad word (in the 60’s probably just “damn”).  Oh, if she could only hear me play Cards Against Humanity.  My sister-in-law in New York says she’s heard things she NEVER expected to hear me utter.

I went to the Dildo Brewing Company in town to buy some, uh, artifacts to remember my trip by.  Their beer may not been any good (don’t know, didn’t try it) but you can bet they sell a lot of t-shirts and beer mugs.

My friend Shawn had informed me that Jimmy Kimmel talked about the town of Dildo on his show Thursday night last week, the day after I was there.  You can find it on YouTube.